Let’s get real: Camping is one of those things that sounds easy until you’re actually doing it. Like, “Let’s go sleep outside and eat marshmallows and become one with nature!” Sure. Until you realize nature smells kind of weird, and the only thing becoming one with you is a swarm of mosquitoes. But you’re here, which means you’re brave and/or possibly lost. Either way, I’ve got you covered. Here are 10 essential camping tips for people who have never camped, or who have camped and barely survived. (No shame. I once tried to roast a marshmallow over a citronella candle. 0/10, do not recommend.)
1. Don’t Buy All the Gear at Once (Unless You’re Secretly Rich)
You do not need a $600 tent, a solar-powered blender, and a titanium spork to survive one weekend in the woods. Start small. Borrow stuff from friends or that weird neighbor with the “Camping Is My Therapy” bumper sticker. If you hate camping, you’ll thank me later.
2. Pick a Campsite With Actual Toilets
Look, I’m not saying you can’t dig a hole and commune with the earth, but if you’re a beginner, flush toilets are your friend. You can work up to peeing behind a tree. Baby steps.
3. Practice Setting Up Your Tent BEFORE You Go
I once put my tent up inside out. In the rain. At midnight. In front of a group of Boy Scouts who will never respect me. Practice in your backyard. Or living room. Or wherever you’re least likely to cry.
4. Pack More Socks Than You Think You’ll Need
Socks are like toilet paper: You’ll always need more than you think. Wet feet are the enemy. Unless you’re into that, in which case… I have questions.
5. Bring Snacks. Then Bring More Snacks.
You will eat all your snacks in the first hour. This is a law of the universe. Hide snacks from yourself. Hide snacks from raccoons. Hide snacks from your camping buddies, who are totally judging your “just-in-case” bag of Funyuns.
6. Don’t Trust the Weather App
“Zero percent chance of rain” is weather app code for “Pack a poncho, sucker.” Be prepared for everything. I once camped in July and woke up to frost. Nature is chaos.
7. Headlamps Are Cooler Than Flashlights (And More Useful)
You need both hands to fight off spiders, make s’mores, or dramatically gesture while telling ghost stories. Headlamps make you look like a weird, outdoorsy miner, but they work.
8. Leave No Trace (Except Maybe Your Dignity)
Whatever you pack in, pack out. Yes, even the gross stuff. Mother Nature is not your mom. She will not clean up after you.
9. Make a “Don’t Forget” List and Check It Twice
Forget your pillow? Enjoy sleeping on a rolled-up hoodie that smells like bug spray. Forget your coffee? You will become a cautionary tale. Make a list. Then add “make a list” to your list.
10. Lower Your Expectations (But Not Your Standards)
Camping is not Instagram. You will be dirty, tired, and possibly covered in suspicious goo. That’s part of the charm. Laugh at the disasters. They make the best stories.
You will mess up. You will forget something. You might cry a little. But you’ll also see stars, eat too many marshmallows, and maybe—just maybe—discover that you’re a camping badass. Or at least, a camping survivor. Which is basically the same thing.
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